Stay

挽留

1

your beard is expendable

pop the sun and let the pus drip out

hot enough by day to cause swelling

it bounces through the crowds

bounces on the bridge

bounces in the room

both afraid

it might bounce onto the bed

and open up our legs

but it hasn’t opened anything yet

it just stands there

close to you

i’m giving you a trim

and the beads of sweat on your stubble

so neatly strung

so sparkling

they bounce into the sky

one by one

胡子是没有用的

把太阳挑破，流出脓水

白天还是热得发胀

在人群中弹跳

在桥上弹跳

在房间里弹跳

我和你都怕它突然

弹跳到床上

打开我们的私处

然而，并没有打开什么

它只是站着

离你很近

我帮你修剪了

胡子上的汗珠

整整齐齐的汗珠

亮晶晶的汗珠

一颗一颗全部都

弹回了天上

2

i ask

coldly

and repeatedly

that you jump from the plane

like a rubber ball

into the temperature

of day

jump now

just relax

don’t lie

spread your limbs

like you’re making love

you on top

the earth underneath

coldly

i thought you could jump down

我冷冷的

不止一次劝你

从飞机上跳下来

像皮球一样

像白天的温度一样

跳下来

不要那么慌张

不要带着欺骗

跳下来

四肢张开

像做爱那样

你在上

大地在下

我冷冷的

以为你会跳下来

3

in actuality

we are already joined –

two pointless people

you boiled beef slices and they tasted good

my fried eggs and tomato

terrible

a balance

unrealistic

you added salt

i took away the sugar

i divided the rice and

you multiplied by flour

meaningless signifiers

实际上你已经

在我的身边

我们是两个没有意义的人

想起来你做的

水煮肉片很好吃

我做的番茄炒蛋很难吃

由此抵消了一些

不切实际

之后呢

你加上盐，我减去糖

你乘以面粉，我除以大米

也将不存在意义

4

my hope

that things will not be so unbearable

it will be possible to keep the light on

it will be possible to remain clothed

i will un-know

how you touched your hand

to the bodies of other women

and the swelling waters

of the Lhasa

that in your eyes

the badlands of the Aksu

were moistened

by girl

and you will not know the dead heart in

the deepest part of me –

just the light clothes

floating in your arms

我希望的是

一切并没有那么不堪

可以不关灯

可以不裸体

我可以不知道

你的手除了

抚摸拉萨河水

还抚摸过无数女人的身体

你的眼睛除了

包容阿克苏的干裂

还包容了一位

穆斯林女孩的潮湿

你也可以不知道

我最深处的心已死

只留一件

轻薄的衣裳

在你怀中飘来飘去

5

you said you were dreaming

dreamed that you were cruising for girls

in Vietnam –

don’t know if it was Hanoi

or Saigon

maybe De Lat

maybe somewhere

you can’t find on a map

now star-fringed lands

make me candid –

i have never been to

Vietnam

nor do i intend

to forgive this dream

你说你做梦了

梦见在越南嫖妓

不知道是河内

还是西贡

可能是大叻

可能在

地图上根本找不到

现在只有与

星星接壤的地方

能让我坦诚：

我没有去过越南

也不打算原谅你的梦

6

you rent a boat

prepare to drift from one city

to a further city

this boat of yours

its hull adheres to the water

force them apart and find

a sucking wound

if a wave doesn’t capsize you

turbulence will

a rope

twisted round the boat’s side

destines us to pull from the bed

two drenched human lives

你四处买船

准备从一座城市

漂到与它不相邻的

另外一座城市

你想要的船

船身与河水粘连着

强行撕开

几乎无法治愈

伤口的创面

此后

如果没有被浪掀翻

也会被情绪掀翻

你和我

被搓成拴在船舷上

的一根麻绳

注定要在

宽阔的河面

拉起两条人命

7

i find myself funny

dirty joke with chaser

knocks me upside down in

seconds

and i feel bad actually

centre of gravity off

like an empty bottle

wavering out of daylight

down railroad tracks

into castoff consciousness

i have

this mouldering moon

and will soon lose sight

of these pleadings

to stay

想起自己很可笑

就着荤段子下酒

也能三五下把自个撂翻

我其实很难过

比倒空的酒瓶还要

找不到重心

从白天走过的铁轨上

摇摇晃晃

再走进废弃的意识里

我有一个

生了霉的月亮

还有一些拐了弯

就消失不见的挽留

Translated by Dave Haysom, A K Blakemore